He is here~

Landon Gabriel took his first breath @ 9:30 AM on October 4, 2010. He weighed 7bls and 11 oz and is 19 3/4 inches long. He is a very happy healthy baby. I was not able to see him till around 2:30 because he was under observation since he was a c-section baby and I had developed diabetes. They monitored him for several hours. When they finally brought him to me I was estatic. We spent several days in the Hospital and came home late Thursday night. I was exausted; however, my little man seemed to have had a 2nd wind. I am working on getting him on a sleep schedule; he seems to have his days and nights mixed up; hoping to fix that soon. I am very thankful for him. This is hard though I'm having all these emotions including anger, happyness, sadness, joy and so many others. I feel like i'm on a roller coaster of emotions right now. I hope I can get things straight soon. I hope we can hurry up and have my 2nd surgery and put all of this behind us. For now though, I'm going back to play wiht my baby; he's starting to wake up. :)

A few days to go

As I sit here sleeplessly awaiting the arrival of Landon. I'm overwhelmed with thoughts and anxiety. I'm so anxious to meet him; and yet over a thousand times before I have told my friends enjoy these last few days of sleep. They always just rolled their eyes. Now I totally get it; i'm so ready and nervous that I can't sleep. I have tried 3 times tonight; still not working. So at 5 am I give up and do what I do best; write myself to sleep. And it's working. I feel the stress melting away as I try to type this all out. I have about a million thoughts and can't keep them straight. People to call, housework to do, things to finish; more laundry to wash so on and so forth. I know I will get it all done but I still lay here feeling him kick and wonder what he's going to be like. Who will he act like, look like, what type of music is he going to write. Will he be artisitic or pratical? Will he develop my eclectic taste? Will he be a people pleaser like me or march to the beat of his own drum? The thoughts fill my mind; I'm thankful for them. I thank God right now that I have something to fill my brain with other than being sick; I'm thankful that I have years of future to look forward to and it gives me more strength to fight. I read a quote one day that said when she feels she can't go on she just looks in her son's eyes and sees the reason to keep fighting. That's my anthem right now only instead of looking in his eyes; I just rest my hand on my stomach and let him kick me and roll. I pray that everything will work out for the better in the end and that Landon and I will be just fine. :)