I have been working nonstop since I moved and now we are moving again. Life is changing quickly before us. Landon is growing like crazy and I feel like I miss half of it I have to work so much. I am trying to find a higher paying job somewhere so we have more time together. Its sad that I have worked so much this past year that I could have commuted from my parents to my job and seen my child more. That's 70 miles one way; if you take the time I worked a second job every weekend and add it to what I worked for the school it's more than a commute and one job. I feel like I have missed so much time I can't get back. I am the evil lady who takes him to daycare. I pray constantly for a different situation, yet true to Robin form when that situation begins to arrise I panic and freeze dead in my tracks. This is not the life I want for my child. I ask myself constantly what to do because I know it's not the life God wants for us either. I know that He wants a life for us where I can be a positive roll model to him and still be home to teach him right from wrong. I don't want to be so busy worrying about putting food on the table that I miss the special times with my child. I know before I blink my baby boy will be a young man starting a life of his own and I don't wanna miss a thing. I am not worried about fancy houses or cars or designer clothers. I just want a simple life where I can enjoy my child. This is my heartfelt prayer for us. I honestly could careless about the size of my home, only the ammount of love that is within it's walls.
It amazes me how much this one little life has changed my thinking and my purpose. I used to put so much stock in where I worked, what I did and how many numbers were in front of the comma on my paycheck. Now I honestly don't care as long as bills are paid and I am home with my child when it matters. I pray I figure out what is next because the road is getting long and hard and I am getting tired. I need something to give me new energy and feel the excitement of life again. I pray this journey we are on right now will provide the energy I am looking for, new possiblities always seems to give me new life and excitement. Praying that happens again.
Till next time...prayers go with you... :)
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
less and less time
8/28/2011
We started work this week. Well I started work, my boy started daycare. Things are going well but I miss my baby. Daycare is 15 miles the opposite direction of where I work. I am praying I find someone closer so I don't have to drive so far everyday. While he loves his caregiver and has fun there; that is an hour a day I don't see him due to commuiting time to work and back. :( I haven't gone to the gym at all this week because I feel totally guilty for not being around. I can't make myself pick him up from one sitter to drop him off with another. I hate it. I have to find a way to beable to take him there, get him and make to to the gym a few days a week and spend some quality time with him. I have gained tooo much weight from this thryoid business. I need to loose it. I am hoping to invest in a jogging stroller and a bicycle trailer over the next few months. That will give us some alternatives to the gym where I can spend time with the boy and work out. Plus I miss my lazy saturday strolls. So need them. :)
Landon is walking now, he says momma, nanna and occasionally mine. He still mostly babbles. He has learned how to throw a tantrum. They are still funny at his age but I hope we have fewer of them as time goes on. He doesn't like it when I take something away from him. Even when it's in his best interest. For example he was sitting in my lap playing with a spoon. No harm in that; however, when he went to get up and walk/ crawl off I took it away. It hurt his little feelings so bad it wasn't even funny! :)
I can't beleive he will be a year old this year. It's hard to believe a year ago I anticipating is arrival and waiting on word from biopsys and such. It's been such a long year, I am looking forward to see what next year brings.
:)
We started work this week. Well I started work, my boy started daycare. Things are going well but I miss my baby. Daycare is 15 miles the opposite direction of where I work. I am praying I find someone closer so I don't have to drive so far everyday. While he loves his caregiver and has fun there; that is an hour a day I don't see him due to commuiting time to work and back. :( I haven't gone to the gym at all this week because I feel totally guilty for not being around. I can't make myself pick him up from one sitter to drop him off with another. I hate it. I have to find a way to beable to take him there, get him and make to to the gym a few days a week and spend some quality time with him. I have gained tooo much weight from this thryoid business. I need to loose it. I am hoping to invest in a jogging stroller and a bicycle trailer over the next few months. That will give us some alternatives to the gym where I can spend time with the boy and work out. Plus I miss my lazy saturday strolls. So need them. :)
Landon is walking now, he says momma, nanna and occasionally mine. He still mostly babbles. He has learned how to throw a tantrum. They are still funny at his age but I hope we have fewer of them as time goes on. He doesn't like it when I take something away from him. Even when it's in his best interest. For example he was sitting in my lap playing with a spoon. No harm in that; however, when he went to get up and walk/ crawl off I took it away. It hurt his little feelings so bad it wasn't even funny! :)
I can't beleive he will be a year old this year. It's hard to believe a year ago I anticipating is arrival and waiting on word from biopsys and such. It's been such a long year, I am looking forward to see what next year brings.
:)
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